


he's straight. I know it.

by moonlite



Series: My straight roomie [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Slow Show - mia_ugly
Genre: AU Fanfic, AU fanfic of a fanfic, Closeted Character, M/M, Mild Language, fanfic of a fanfic, this is actually for me but sharing is caring and I care, what if Avery and Anthony were bffs but closeted, wrong assumptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21776134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlite/pseuds/moonlite
Summary: An AU fanfic of a fanfic. Avery and Anthony met in high school and spend college living in the same dorm but they're closeted and it's hard when you live with the person you actually like.
Relationships: Avery Fell/Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: My straight roomie [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705246
Comments: 15
Kudos: 22
Collections: Slow Show Metaverse





	1. Chapter 1

Avery groaned and Anthony couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend's misery. It’s been a couple of months since Avery decided to write a fanfic for that show Warlock - which Anthony would say is actually a good show - but still can’t come up with anything. Anthony asked him why he can’t just write something down and Avery responded that it has to be good. William and Erasmus deserved as much.

“Still working on that fanfiction, angel?” Anthony asked, setting down a plate of omelet beside the blonde man.

“Yes. And Mr. Shadwell’s essay. He gave us free reign of the topic and now I can’t come up with anything,”

“How did he exactly say it?”

“‘Write an essay to be submitted in three weeks. Whatever topic would do - something about yourself, your friends, something memorable - I don’t care,’”

“Yep. That sounds like him,” Anthony winced for his friend, pushing the omelet closer so his friend would eat instead of looking… well, not to be repetitive… miserable. “Why don’t you try and write something about that show then, eh? Why you like it so much?” Avery looked at him with fondness in his eyes - well, Anthony likes to think it’s a fondness for him but then Avery is fond of the little duck they pass by on their way to the school grounds and he’s not getting to that level.

Anthony and Avery met in high school. Anthony was the transferee with a bad record and Avery was the well-loved nice kid. Like any high school drama cliche, their paths first crossed in the cafeteria when some of the school hockey players cornered Avery. Anthony wasn’t going to get involved; getting involved means having enemies, having sides, then caring. He was simply going to watch how the nerd will give up his lunch money and the bullies would laugh at the face of another victim. But this victim stood his ground and when Anthony saw how the bully’s body geared up to raise a hand - probably to hurt the kid - Anthony stood up and got himself in between them.

“Who in the hell are you?” the shortest of the bunch, a bald dude, asked. The others had the same bored look on their faces except for the tallest one who looked like he’s gonna combust.

“Anthony Crowley. Nice to meet you. If you don’t mind, I’ll borrow my friend here so we can eat lunch,” he spoke quickly before tugging the other away but was stopped by the tallest.

“And what do you think you’re doing? Aren’t you the transferee? You don’t have friends here,” he spoke, grating every nerve in Crowley’s body.

“I am taking my friend away because we’re going to eat lunch,” he hissed before he tugged the blonde man away. 

“We’re not done yet, new boy! You hear me?!” Tall idiot shouted as they both walked away. Once they arrived at a deserted table, Anthony let go of the other's arm and sat himself down. Obviously, he doesn’t care whatever the other does. Doesn’t care that he sat down too, doesn't care that he’s staring at him while he’s eating, doesn’t care that he is making that face at him - that sort of happy face people doesn’t normally do around him.

“I’m Avery Fell,” the guy smiled, pushing an apple towards him, an expectant sort of expression pressuring Crowley to respond. Anthony took the apple and took a bite.

“Anthony Crowley,” he murmured before taking another bite which made the blonde man smile.

After that incident, Anthony was never again found without Avery or Avery without him. They became inseparable and at some point was even accused of being a gay couple. 

Now here’s the thing: Anthony IS gay. He’s as gay as the leathered bear in a pride parade but he needs to uphold family pride first and foremost. Which maybe is the reason why he’s become like this. The delinquent who can’t stay in one school for long.

“My dear, are you bothered by it?” Avery one time asked him when Gabriel - he finally has a name. Anthony used to just call him ‘himbo’ - decided to throw small rocks at them while shouting ‘faggot’. Of course, a few students came to their rescue but only because it’s 2019 and homophobia isn’t really funny and tolerated anymore. 

“By what?”

“Us being called a couple,” Anthony flinched internally. Of course, he knew Avery was straight. Despite his fancy dandy manners, he knew Avery was straighter than a pole and he ain’t big enough to make that pole bend and really. Who wants to risk a big truck to bend a pole when both can coexist peacefully? Anthony winced at himself.

“Hmmm… Are you?” he raised a brow.

“Not really, no. I’m actually glad that they think I’m good enough for you,” Avery chuckled, closing his notebook and smiling at him, somehow making the situation harder since that question.

“You’ve gotta be kidding - people thinking I am good enough for YOU should be an insult to you, angel. You deserve to be linked to someone better. Like that Tracy fella. You guys are close, right? Or Anath - what I mean is it doesn't matter really, does it?” he asked, glancing at Avery before looking away, avoiding that specific look he’s giving him. The one that makes Crowley think Avery’s thinking of going on a 30-page essay on his self-esteem but won’t because they are friends. But Avery relented and sighed, standing up instead to offer him a hand up.

“I really wish you wouldn’t put yourself so low, my dear,” he sighed again.

When high school ended, Avery and Anthony decided to part ways. Not in a bad way but in a good way. A way where they decided to share a dorm room and chase their own dreams while helping the other when they can. To pursue different careers while still being present for each other. Avery became the family favorite and is always invited every Christmas. Sometimes Anthony would even ask his dad is they want to adopt Avery so he can fuck off to the Fells where he’s also made his little family.

“You know how your brother gets. Hastur tolerates him enough to let him near his frog collection and I have never seen anyone near them. Even me,” his father would only smirk and watch with him as Hastur spit mean things at Avery about other animals and he would just nod as if in agreement. 

One time though, Hastur called Crowley a snake and Avery frowned at him, something Hastur has never seen and said that he rather liked snakes for their many abilities. Hastur never talked shit about snakes after that.

It’s not really better from Avery’s side either. Ligur, Avery’s younger brother, is a quiet fellow who only acknowledges Crowley with a nod before doing whatever it is he is doing. One time though, Crowley dropped by from school, back in high school, and saw Ligur crying. Ligur was a freshman at the time and Anthony knows the high school can be tough but not to the point where you’d cry. Ligur told him that a few kids threw rocks at him and called him adopted. He knew he was - hard not to notice when you look different from your family and if the said family is very open about it - but hearing it out loud in that manner still hurts. Like the years of love his family has given him amounts to nothing and he’s alone. Crowley gave him an awkward hug then, saying he’s so lucky to have been loved so much and how jealous he is that someone couldn’t find any faults in Ligur that they had to attack his family ties. Ligur smiled at that and after then, Ligur wouldn’t just nod at him but greet him by his name too before continuing whatever he was doing. Avery never commented on that but gave him that smile instead. The parents plagued him about the problem and he didn’t want to rat out so he told them to always love Ligur and to never let him feel cast out ever. 

Which all leads us to the current situation of Anthony now feeding the man the eggs he cooked while Avery continuously ranted about the essay due in three weeks. Crowley smiled at him. He knows how Avery gets. He’d rant about it, sleep on it for a good couple of weeks - or as much time is allowed - make different drafts with different topics before making his best version on the eve of submission. At midnight. While drinking his concoction of red bull and coffee grabbed from the nearest McDonalds because he’s too cheap for Starbucks.

“I swear I wouldn’t know what to do without you, dear,” Avery spoke before standing up, grabbing the plate and fork from his hands and walking into their room. Crowley would’ve followed but he needs to get to his first class in an hour.


	2. Chapter 2

Anthony Crowley decided that he’d take up marketing instead of Dramatics like what his father wanted. His father was a well-renowned actor and he was counting on Anthony to be just like him. All his life, he was groomed to be one and always reminded that he must do this and that. So when he took up marketing, his father decided to immediately cut his allowance and his card which resulted in multiple things:

  1. His mother, whom he has not talked to for a while - saying she’s in another country for business, as always - called him and asked him what happened. He then -
  2. Got a new card, this time from his mother which he now uses to pay for his share of the dorm, his tuition fee, and everyday supplies. And since he’s not very close to her - either of them really but at least his mother heard him out when he said he didn’t want to be an actor and encouraged him to at least take-up something that would earn him something in the future. Just to not waste the name and all that - he barely uses it unless he has to. Then he still tries to charge as little as he can to the card in case this is a long haul trap.
  3. He got a part-time job in a flower shop near the school that though does not pay big, but allows him to study in the shop when there are no customers. You’d be surprised at how much customers it gets especially during special seasons. He then uses the money he earns to pay for daily expenses as he allows his scholarship to carry the half for the others.
  4. He now has to work extra hard academically because if he loses that scholarship, he’d have to explain it to his mother why he suddenly needs that much money. Although he’s pretty sure there’s also another reason behind his mom suddenly caring and he’s pretty sure that if he’s right, his mom won’t care and it would just piss his dad. Get my drift? Because they are divorced and his mom can go bat shit on his dad about taking care of their children and all that. It’s a bit complicated. 
  5. The Fells asked Avery to cover for his meals too when they heard about what happened. It all went like “Feed the dear child, will you? Such a skinny boy he is,” and “That asshole’s gotta eat or something,” But yes. It was something. 
  6. And last but not the least, remember that flower shop? Sometimes, the owner comes in with seeds and she asks Crowley to plant them because, as she said, Crowley has the greenest thumbs anyone could ever wish for. He doesn’t know what that means but it’s a thing and he’s now also part gardener when he has time.



Anthony feels like he’s so busy sometimes and that overwhelms him and when he feels that way, he comes back to their shared dorm and he would sit quietly next to Avery until he’s done with what he’s doing and the other man would hug him. Most times Avery would ask that they lie on the love seat or the bed and they would just cuddle, Avery sometimes singing a song - he’s not really bad at them. Not good either - or he’d tell Anthony about what he did in school or what he saw when he ate lunch in the cafeteria. Sometimes he’d tell him about his classmates - he’s earned a friend with that Adam guy and his pals - and he’d drift to sleep or a much-needed nap. 

All that time, Avery would hold him and hum something to keep some demons at bay.


	3. Chapter 3

Avery Fell is the child of a fisherman. He grew up poor but his father worked hard to send them to school. He provided for them and kept them safe and warm during stormy nights and happy during the day. His brother, Ligur, was also provided for despite the fact that Ligur was his father’s friend’s son who got lost at sea. Ligur is as quiet as his father and a split image of him too that’s why Avery’s father loved him dearly. Somehow, he felt that it’s his way of giving back to his best friend.  
When Avery decided he wanted to study drama and literature, his father had a word with him. Of course, he was counting on him to help with the family. Maybe take up something else. Something that would earn him money so they can live well. His mother wasn’t that much kinder about his decision and it was Ligur who said Avery can take whatever he wants as long as he’s happy with it because money follows happiness. That was the wisest they’ve all heard that night and they all agreed that Avery can take drama and literature as long as he’s happy.

Initially, they couldn’t afford college but Avery was a good student and afforded his way to school through scholarships. He worked hard on his academics and spent the rest of his free time reading. Sometimes he would help with the flower shop Crowley was working in and the kind lady who owns it would give him something in return.   
One time, while he was waiting for Anthony, as they were supposed to have dinner outside because Avery can’t cook for the life of him and Anthony is not yet done with the garden, the owner, Ms. Nutter, asked him how long he and Anthony have been together and what’s their secret because she couldn’t even hold down an actual marriage for 6 years.  
“Uhm, Anthony and I aren’t together, madam. Anthony’s straight,” he spoke and the woman, who was dusting the shelf at the time, coughed really hard and Avery had to get to her so she wouldn’t fall over.   
“Are you serious?” Agnes asked him and he nodded, guiding her to sit so he can get her some water.  
Anthony was by Agnes’ side when Avery came back and he blushed, remembering the question, and really, he can’t afford Ms. Nutter asking Anthony the question she did him.  
“Madam, your water,” he spoke, staring at her, trying so hard to convey a message even he isn’t sure what. Is it ‘don’t ask him because he’d laugh at you’? Or ‘don’t ask him because he’d laugh at me’? Or ‘don’t ask him because he’d know I’m gay and pining after him all these years’? He’s not sure which but Agnes seemed to understand and asked Anthony to dress up immediately or he’ll make him too hungry to be tolerable. And to be fair, he’s quite grumpy when he’s hungry.   
“I’d better do that or I’m sleeping on the couch,” Anthony joked laughing, before coughing. “Not that we share a bed. We don’t sleep on one bed perse but it’s like a bunk bed - like yeah like sharing but it’s bunk bed so - “  
“Just go, Anthony. I know what a bunk bed is,” Agnes laughed before she gathered her own things and offering to drive them to that restaurant they were going to.

Before leaving, Agnes told Avery that sometimes, a mirror can be two way but one must turn off the lights so they see the other side. 

Avery gets by in college by studying hard, spending little, helping in a flower shop, and hugging his best friend who is too straight to ask for hugs when things get too much.


	4. Chapter 4

College wasn’t as bland as everyone wants to make it. It’s actually filled with surprises and sometimes, Anthony enjoys them.

Take Junior for example. 

Anthony met Junior in a gathering meant for the junior marketing executives of the school, a little college club when the man walked in during a speech being made by the president of the club, asking if anybody saw his pet iguana. The mad lad actually had the audacity to smile, look adorable before Anthony decided, being one of the officers, to escort him out. Junior wasn’t the bit least sorry while explaining that he was being dared by his friends to do it and really, that earned Anthony’s respect. The mad lad stood there, smiling at him. When he asked him to go, Junior took out his phone and asked for his number. No one has ever asked for his number and flustered, he gave it away. 

It wasn’t even a day and he and Junior have begun texting each other. Junior often sends him memes that he doesn’t usually understand but apparently that adds to his charm. It was two months in when Avery asked him about his little ‘text mate’.

“Why don’t you invite her over, dear?” Avery spoke while he was stirring spaghetti sauce in the pan, his other hand busy replying to Junior. Anthony wasn’t expecting that. Avery never commented on his phone habit and he felt both defensive and thrilled. But then a little scared because they never really talked about dating and the people they are seeing and he doesn’t know how far Avery would push this.

“Her?”

“The one you’re texting. It’s been a couple of months. I suppose you ought to invite her over so I don’t get too surprised if I ever see her half-naked in our room,” Avery smiled at him before turning to prepare the table while Anthony got the food ready.

“The fuck, angel?” 

“Yes, the fuck, Anthony. Couples tend to do that, I hear. The other day, I heard Beel and their partner - “

“I don’t wanna know that - “

“ - all I’m saying is Dagon woke up to a very naked man in their bathroom and almost took him out with a baseball bat. Not of course that I would be that violent - “

“ - you can never - “

“ - but I don’t appreciate surprises of the kind.” Avery spoke, staring at him with the soberest look Anthony has ever seen and Avery never drank.

The silence grew poignant between them during dinner though unbeknown to the other. Anthony toyed around with his food and Avery ate only half of his share, not feeling in the mood for the devastatingly good spaghetti that Avery knows Anthony is very proud of. 

To be fair, it’s not unheard for best friends to fight over things as such but It just never happens to them. Or at least it never did before. So after that affair they would pretend to call dinner, and retreating to separate places - Avery to their room and Anthony to the love seat, sleeping to the lull of the TV - both would go through their next day without as much as talking.

Agnes, of course, noticed Avery’s glum mood when he entered her shop. He was usually chatty and would go on and on about things he’s seen on his way to the shop but today, he just came in, politely asked if he can be of assistance to anything and settled behind the counter when Agnes asked him to man the register for a while.

“Alright spit it out,” Agnes said, sitting on the counter, her back to the door. To be fair, she owns the shop and she can do what she wants.

“Nothing,”

“That’s what I told my ex-husband when he asked me why I was divorcing him. Didn’t bode well, you see,”

“Really, it’s nothing,” Avery tried to smile but then he was tearing up and Agnes was immediately beside him, gathering him up in her arms. “Anthony has a girlfriend and he won’t even introduce her to me.” he sobbed, covering his face with his hands. Agnes attentively listened to Avery’s worries. How he and Anthony never fought and now they’re fighting and maybe their friendship wasn’t worth anything because he doesn’t even deserve to know who he’s dating and what if Anthony asked him to move out where would he go because he can’t afford his own place and living with Anthony is so lovely because he’s such a lovely man but what if, what if, what if - 

“Avery?” Anthony asked when opened the door but he was so busy crying that he didn’t hear him and Agnes waved him away. He made his way to the back garden and waited for Agnes to tell him what’s happening.

“Dear heart, I’ll just message my niece, okay? I’ll ask her to bring the car around and we can do for a drive, maybe go to the park and take a walk, yeah?” Agnes spoke softly and messaged niece to bring the car as she said. 

(sent) Agnes N.: You and I are going to talk.

(sent) Anthony C.: Is Avery okay?

(sent) Agnes N.: Why don’t you ask him yourself when you get home?

“You should drink some water, dear. I’ll get some and you wait here for Anathema, okay?” Agnes said before disappearing to the small pantry they keep.

(sent) Avery F.: I’m going out with Agnes then I’ll go home to dad’s tonight.

(sent) Anthony C.: Why? What happened? everything okay?

(sent) Avery F.: It’s fine. See you.

(sent) Anthony C.: Angel please tell me what’s happening.

(sent) Anthony C.: Angel?

(sent) Anthony C.: Avery? 

(sent) Anthony C.: Avery, please talk to me.

(sent) Anthony C.: Angel, please

(sent) Avery F.: I’ll be turning my mobile off. See you on Monday. 

Anthony did not even try to call him. Avery is a grown man and if he doesn't want to talk to Anthony about it then maybe he shouldn't cross that line. Yeah, maybe Avery just needs to see his family. It has indeed been a long time since they both went back to their families after all. But there was a nagging thing inside him that tells him to call Avery but he ignored that to let his best friend the space he needs.

Agnes smiled at the man who took their order while Aziraphale worried himself over his phone. He was staring at it as if expecting something to happen to it. Not that Agnes doesn't know but sometimes it's better to remain quiet and tell the words needed saying to those who don't need it but would understand.

Anathema returned from parking the car and fell into a good conversation with Avery. even in an anxious state, Avery knows how to appear calm and collected. This is one of the reasons she allows Avery to help in the shop. He knows how to handle people. He knows how to drive away unwanted customers and keep those other pleasant ones coming back. Anthony never really had that talent and does well in gardening instead so she asked him to do the job in the small garden.

The first time Anthony brought Avery in, she immediately knew something was up and she was right. She had two idiots in her hands and she can't do anything but help them find themselves through it but somehow, they still manage to screw it all up. 

"So, you going back home after this?" She asked, getting both their attention. 

"I suppose yes. I'll go back to my dad's after and - "

"I wasn't talking about your dad's. I was talking about your dorm. The one you share with Anthony,"

"Oh, uhm, maybe not? I don't think I want to go back there yet,"

"What? You and your boyfriend fought?" Anathema cut in, making the two look at her. "What? You and Crowley have been together since high school, right?" she asked and Agnes laughed at that, Avery blushing.

"Crowley and I aren't together, Anathema. We are best friends and he has a girlfriend right now," he smiled. Anathema frowned before turning to Agnes who shook her head. 

(unsent) Anthony C.: I know you don't want to talk right now but I'm here, okay?

(unsent) Anthony C.: In case you wanna talk about it

(unsent) Anthony C.: and if you need me

(unsent) Anthony C.: I love you

(unsent) Anthony C.: good night.


	5. Chapter 5

Avery's dad only nodded when Avery asked if he can spend the weekends with them. He didn't ask because Avery seldom keeps things and when he does, it's for the best. Ligur only stared and offered to watch some romcom with him and Avery smiled at that, agreeing immediately, seeing it a chance to spend some time with his brother.   
“How’re you and Crowley?” Ligur started, trying to be as careful as he can. Aziraphale is hardly ever sad but when he is, it’s mostly because of something close to home. And nothing else is closer than his best friend.  
“Tip-top, I suppose,” Avery smiled.  
“You suppose?” Ligur asked softly and Avery shook his head.  
“I cried about it already to the woman at the shop I sometimes help in. But can I tell you? Since you’re my brother?” Avery asked and Ligur nodded. Avery has been nothing but open to him since they were a child and Ligur likes that. Likes his brother. He doesn't feel different when he’s with him. “Crowley and I sort of fought? He’s been texting this fellow and I know. I know he’s texting because games are different. He includes me in his games or his social media. But this one is different. He smiles at his phone a lot too. I thought he was going to tell me but he didn’t.  
“A couple of days ago, I asked him to bring his girlfriend over. Of course, I wanted to meet her. I’m sure that Crowley chose someone lovely but I suppose how I delivered that wasn’t the way I was intending.  
“We stopped talking and I wanted to talk to him but I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I was hurt. I felt left behind. Like our friendship didn’t matter because he couldn’t even introduce his girlfriend to me. Am I that horrible to people? Am I not worthy enough to be introduced?  
“So, after going out with the shop owner I was telling you about, I went here so I can spend the weekends far from him. I don’t think I can stomach having these thoughts in such a closed space.”  
Ligur nodded solemnly, taking in everything. “I’m sorry that happened. And I understand that you feel sad because he wouldn’t introduce his girlfriend to you,” He frowned, though. “So, you just want him to introduce his girlfriend? You’re not jealous?”  
“Why should I be jealous? Crowley is my best friend. I just want the best for him,” Avery frowned. Ligur shrugged and looked back to the TV that now has Jason Sudeikis laughing at something. “I know you do but maybe you’re jealous that he now has a girlfriend who will get half the attention you’re getting from him.”  
“I know I told you I like him but I know my place. I wouldn’t do that,” Avery answered, trying to focus on the movie but couldn’t. Ligur leaned to him though and told him about Hastur, apparently Crowley's brother, and his new best friend.  
“They are a certain kind of an asshole. And we like them,”


	6. Chapter 6

Crowley returned to their dorm a little after tending to the garden at the shop. Agnes told him what happened and gave him a talking to about how he treats his best friend and he told Agnes about Junior. He loves Junior, he does. Junior sees him. Junior loves him and Junior knows him the way Avery doesn’t. Avery doesn’t look at him like he holds the answer to all questions or he can bring him everything he’s ever wanted. Junior does. Junior does and Anthony loves him for it. 

Agnes smiled at it - him loving Junior. She smiled and nodded and Anthony couldn’t read her expression. Agnes is like that. She knows everything. If anything, she holds the answer to the universe. But she doesn’t say things. All the time. She keeps her secrets and sometimes, that frustrates Anthony the way her smile frustrates him when he told her. 

The dorm felt cold without Avery. The walls seemed gray and he suddenly felt tired. So tired that when he collapsed on the sofa, he remained on it until someone rang him insistently. 

He wasn’t going to answer it or even check who it was but reflex reaction had another thing in mind and they were pictures sent by someone. All of them Junior making out with someone else in what appears to be a party of some kind. Crowley didn’t even react. He just sighed, sent a thumbs up to the sender and allowed his phone to fall before crying, hugging the tartan blanket draped on the sofa. 

Ligur was talking to Hastur when Avery went down the next day. Mainly, it was Hastur doing the talking while Ligur listened to him, slowly consuming the breakfast he made.

“Oh. You’re here,” Hastur said upon seeing him. Ligur only smiled and went to get him some breakfast too.

“Yeah. Needed the break from school, I guess,” he smiled, accepting the food from his brother.

“Needed the break from Anthony, you mean. I know he can be a lot. I had an on-going bet with Ligur that one of these days you’re gonna break and leave him because of how needy he is,” Hastur smirked. Ligur frowned at that the same way Avery did. Who’s to say they aren’t really brothers?

“Anthony is not needy. I took a break because I was the one getting clingy,” he spoke, looking at Ligur for backup. Hastur stared at him too before they all fell into silence, processing the words exchanged between.

“Pay up, Hastur. I told you Avery gets attached,” Ligur decided to break the silence. Hastur gaped before passing him 10 pounds.

“But Anthony - wow. Wow. No wonder you two are together,” 

“Really, Ligur? You’re betting against me?” Avery asked his brother who gave him a cheeky smile.

“You can say a little birdie told me to do it,” 

Come Monday, Anthony got to his class early. He saw Junior but didn’t say anything. He texted him the pictures and told them they’re done and the bastard didn’t even apologize. Just straight up snogged his new beau in front of the class. It was awful, they way Crowley sees it. But he can’t blame him. They kissed in secret, moments stolen like whispers between bookshelves. He was a secret and Junior has a lot of those already. He doesn’t need another one. Crowley understands.

Crowley has secrets too but his is unending and he can keep one more.

After their class, he dropped by the Junior Marketing Executives office before going to Agnes’ shop. Mondays are quiet. He mostly does his gardening on Mondays because even if Avery isn’t there, he can still attend to the counter. Avery has his Mondays busy because aside from his classes, he also needs to meet the dramatics club. Sometimes Anthony laughs at the irony of it. His parents wanted him to take dramatics yet he chose marketing. Avery’s dad was hoping he would take something like marketing yet he chose dramatics. They are indeed living in such a world.

The small bell by the door rang and Anthony rushed to greet the customer. He was just tending to the tulips anyway.

“Welcome to - Junior,”

“Hey,” Junior smiled, that sweet smile that Anthony once liked. Not he doesn’t feel anything.

“What can I get you?” he asked indifferently. Like he does for every other customer.

“I thought we should talk. About earlier?” Junior said and Crowley grabbed his trowel and threw it near Junior’s feet, it piercing the soft earth that was thankfully inside the shop because Agnes decided she wants people to feel the earth where flowers are cultivated.

“Talk to me again and that will cut your dick,” Anthony hissed and Junior held his hands up in surrender and got out, revealing an impressed Anathema standing by the door. 

“Remind me not to piss you off when you have garden tools,”

“Or when we’re in a garden. You’re a very easy-to-hide body,” he smirked and Anathema laughed. They went to school together, Anathema being an accelerated student but she decided to take things slow and find a path she likes. Agnes is oddly supportive. She’s much younger than Anthony and yet she is in the same year as he is. 

“So, you and that guy?”

“Dated him for a couple of months. We’re done now,”

“Oh. He’s the ‘girlfriend’,” Anathema whispered. Anthony nodded. Agnes knows. Anathema knows. Only Avery doesn’t know he’s gay and they are together every fucking day in a small space. 

“Looks like I don't even have to introduce my ‘girlfriend’ seeing that we’re already done, eh?”

“You have to talk to Avery. The sweet lad is heartbroken over you not even telling him about it,”

“I know. I just - I know Avery is straight and I don’t know what he’ll do if he found out he’s been living with a gay man,” 

“I’m pretty sure he’d accept you but it’s not my place to say, of course,”

When he got home, Avery was already there, setting the small receiving area straight. His back was on him and Anthony, feeling relief, dropped everything he’s carrying and just went to hug his best friend.

It wasn’t very dramatic but Anthony tried to convey his emotions through it, burying his face on Avery’s neck when they man decided to face him, sobbing quietly as he inhaled Avery’s scent, just trying to get as much of Avery as he can in his arms, as if trying to combine their existence, blur their lines and be as close as possible.

“My dear Anthony,” Avery whispered against his temple and Crowley sobbed harder. He doesn’t care that Avery’s shirt is getting crumpled in his fists. He just needs to hold onto him. To hold onto Avery like this.

“I’m so sorry,” Anthony tried to say but it came out as a jumble of words as he tried to catch his breath. Avery made a shushing sound and moved to get some water but Anthony held tighter to him.

“I’m going to get you some water then you can hug me all you want, okay?” Avery spoke. Anthony hesitated but relented and once Avery got back with water, he downed it in one go and went back to hugging Avery close. Avery, for his part, decided to lie them down the love seat so that Anthony is half on top of him and they can both be comfortable.

“I’m sorry, angel,” Anthony broke the comfortable silence that they were starting to make. Avery only hummed in response. “I was going to introduce you to - to my girlfriend. I was going to. But I got scared. I wanted you to like - like her. And I wanted - wanted her to like you. And I’m sure she’s going to like you because you’re Avery. You’re the most likable human being alive and I don’t even know I just miss you I’m so sorry, angel. I’m so sorry.” Anthony broke into a sob again burying himself as much as he can to the man hugging him. Avery tightened his arms and kissed Crowley’s hair before he told him how he felt. What happened and why he decided to go back to his dad’s.

“I wanted to be sure of myself, you see. I wanted to think clearly. I knew that seeing you would only hurt me and I didn’t want to think while feeling hurt. So, I went home and thought about it and decided that it’s all fine. You didn’t have to tell me - it’s your life. I am your best friend but it doesn't mean that I should know everything. You should only answer to what you want to answer to and I should do the same. We’re adults and even if we sometimes don’t act that way - don’t you dare deny this, my dearest - there are certain boundaries that comes with it. One of them is keeping our secrets and having established boundaries,” Avery concluded with a smile on his lips, staring at those amber eyes red from crying, longing to share their breaths but this would do.

Anthony smiled, smitten by this very man in his arms. He wanted to kiss him, say he loves him, maybe snog him. Anthony instead buried his face on his neck, hugging him closer, whispering his words of love on his collarbone where they’ll be etched softly until Anthony can say them out loud. Can say them to Avery proudly. For now, his words of love will be kept there, lingering on his skin, dancing on the tiny hairs of his chest, sitting quietly on his shoulder until such time that Anthony can claim them and make them reach his ears, let Avery hear - finally hear - what he wants to say.


End file.
